Emotional Eating

I am an emotional eater. I’ve been that way since my early childhood due to some traumatic things I experienced. I’ve realized it for many years, but have never quite seem to be able to overcome it. For me, the emotional eating definitely happens most frequently when something triggers bad memories from my childhood, when I’m extremely stressed out, when I’m upset and/or sad, or around the holidays or my grandmother’s birthday because of how much I miss her. I don’t seem to have issues with it on the opposite side of things when I’m very happy.

I was at home today on a sick day (picked up some sort of annoying bug apparently). I happened to be channel surfing after waking up from one of many naps and noticed that Dr. Phil has something he’s calling the Ultimate Weight Loss Race going on right now on his show. It appears to be some sort of hybrid of The Biggest Loser and The Amazing Race. Teams of family members are traveling across the country on a race all while trying to lose weight and get into shape. I stopped surfing for a few minutes to watch and see what it was all about since I noticed that former Biggest Loser trainer Kim Lyons was one of the trainers for it.

I’m really glad I stopped because I heard something from Dr. Phil regarding emotional eating that made total sense to me. It’s the first thing I’ve ever heard regarding emotional eating that literally made me stop and go, “Wow, that totally makes sense.” So, I’m hopping over here to blog about it right now so I don’t forget.

Here’s the transcript of what he said. I’m actually giving a bit of the lead in to the point that really struck a chord with me. I think that will help make it more clear contextually.

“What you do, is you medicate yourself. (Ok, this part I already knew.) You say, ‘Ok, I hurt right now and this will make me feel better.’ And, btw, food does make you feel better. It actually changes the chemistry in your brain and stabilizes certain things. It warms you up and calms you down. That’s the reason it’s called ‘comfort food’. Food comforts you.

But, it’s a fix. It’s like a drug. I mean, you might as well be shooting up with heroin or something for all the good that it does you. I mean, you get that, right? You’re going to keep doing that until you do something to change that.

(Ok, here comes the part that really hit home with me.)

You have to deal with psychological problems psychologically. You deal with medical problems medically. You deal with nutritional problems by nutrition. But, you don’t mix and match. You don’t deal with psychological problems with food. If you get hungry, you don’t go read a book, but if you hurt, you go eat? That doesn’t make sense, does it? But that’s what you do.”

He was speaking with a pair of brothers about this issue. They were both hurting and grieving over the loss of their father and grandmother and had each turned to food for comfort. One of the brothers is now in excess of 400 pounds. He showed them a picture of their father and grandmother and was saying how much they wouldn’t want this for the brothers. How much they would want them to live their lives to the fullest and be healthy. He urged them to choose to live and realize the loss of their family members are part of the cycle of life. It’s OK to grieve for them and talk to them, but to stop beating themselves up over the fact that they are gone. They can’t stop living just because they lost their loved ones.

He went on to encourage them to give their feelings a voice and to stop stuffing them away with food. He said, as only Dr. Phil can, “You can’t talk and eat, and you’re eatin’ instead of talkin’. You can’t give your feelings a voice with your mouth full! If you’re hurtin’, say it!”

Hearing those words was like getting a big ol’ “clue by 4″ between the eyes. I’ve regained so much of the weight I’d lost between my grandmother’s death, my divorce, health issues, etc. I’ve let myself focus more on the negative aspects of my life rather than embracing the things that are good about it. It’s time for me to refocus!

After speaking with another couple, he challenged all of the participants to really think about what was the most emotionally painful thing in their lives. I know without a shadow of a doubt what that would be for me. It would be the aforementioned traumatic experience of my childhood followed very closely by the lack of relationship with my family. They both affect me in very profoundly painful ways. I need to give those feelings a voice and stop stuffing them away with food. I just need to decide how best to do that.

My late grandmother would ache seeing how I’ve let things go in my life. She absolutely would still love me unconditionally, but she would ache for me because she always wanted the very best for me. I’ve seemingly just forgotten to want the very best for myself.

I love you, Gran. I promise to do better.