Motivation … mine has been out the window the past couple of weeks since finding out I have a torn medial meniscus in my left knee. I’m so sick of all the damn injuries!! Accordingly, I’ve been on a major pity party, eating whatever the fuck I want, haven’t been drinking my water, and haven’t done any kind of exercise. I haven’t even ventured near the scale out of fear because I know it will be ugly just based on how my clothes are fitting and how bloated I feel from all the crap food.
For those of you who follow me on Facebook and/or Twitter, you already probably know that earlier this week the 18-month old son of one of my cousins back in Tennessee was killed in a very tragic accident. My cousin’s husband accidentally ran over their little boy killing him instantly. 
He had taken their two young children (they also have a 5 year old little girl) out with him in the truck to feed the cattle on their farm. Unfortunately, he didn’t put the car seats in the truck for the kids. As he was driving, the passenger door came open and the little boy fell out of the truck. Even though he immediately slammed on the brakes when he realized what had happened, he wasn’t able to stop in time unfortunately. 
Please, if you have children, grandchildren, any child in your care, always make sure to take the time to put them in the proper car restraints regardless of how quick/insignificant the trip may seem. The highway patrol said that if he had been in a car seat, this tragedy never would have happened. Instead, my cousin and her husband had to bury their toddler this morning. I can’t even imagine how on earth they are going to cope and deal with this situation. If you are so inclined and want to keep them in your thoughts, I know they could use it right now.
Now, back to how this all relates to motivation …. little Elam’s death was a reminder to me of just how fragile life really is for each of us. I have basically spent my entire adult life obese. Is this how I really want to spent the rest of my life? My “best” years (i.e. youth, strength, agility, etc.) are behind me. I’m now going into middle-age with my body reminding me of all the years I have abused it. All these nagging little injuries I keep having are all exacerbated by excess weight. At this point, I may have to give up my endurance athletic aspirations. I may never be able to do marathons or triathlons, but there is no reason why I can’t lose weight and be healthy. I just need to want it, because if I want it, I’ll do it.
“If you want to be different, do something different.”
~Shane, personal trainer, Made in L.A. Fitness
Speaking of Made in L.A. Fitness (a.k.a. MILA), I had an amazing time earlier this month at the boot camp weekend they hosted. I took my very first spin class and had an amazing time! My orthopedist gave me the go ahead to continue spinning even with the meniscus tear as long as I promised not to get out of the saddle or do any fast sprinting. So, in an effort to help rekindle some motivation, I’ll be heading over to MILA for a spin class Friday morning. 
Happy Friday everyone!
life is short and fragile huh?
a big reason I do what I do as a labor of love.
it is TOO SHORT to live it not living and waiting to be the ‘perfect size’ until one does.
xo xo
Carla
Such awful news! Thinking of your cousin’s family.
Melissa, I found this is a very inspirational post, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.
Melissa, I am so sorry to hear about little Elam. They are all in my thoughts and prayers. What a nightmare.
I am glad you are “jumping back in the saddle” and spinning again. I have always wanted to try it.
I’m sorry the injuries have been taking you down each time you start back on the exercise path. And I understand how you feel about approaching middle age with a body suffering from years of obesity. But I think that we can make the best of what we do have, because we still have the power to change some things… and we are still here to do it!
Oh, I’m so sorry Melissa for little Elam’s passing. My prayers to the family that they can get thru this together.
Suz
What a bummer about your knee. I know you have been having such problems with injuries. It hardly seems right! That is such sad news about the baby.
My heart breaks for your family. 
My heart is breaking for your cousin’s family.
And, I hear you on the mojo. My jeans have been way too snug and I cannot comfortably wear the one pair now. I went to buy some black jeans tonight and had to go one size up for the 1st time in 5+ years.
My butt is getting out for a run tomorrow.
I am so sorry to hear of Elam’s passing. My thoughts and prayers go out to your family.
Hope your knee gets better so that you can feel good about exercising again. I’ve not been motivated lately, either, and I don’t have a good excuse!
Healing thoughts headed to little Elam’s family. How awful!!
And healing thoughts to you, too, my dear friend. Keep spinnin’, if that’s all life is allowing right now; things’ll get better. And you do have the strength to make it happen, as well as people happy to love and support you.
My heart aches for Elam’s family. How awful, it’s beyond words.
Take care Melissa.