One Woman Learning to Live Her Best Life

May 2010Monthly Archives

Meh

Meh … I haven’t felt like blogging lately mostly because I haven’t felt like stitching either. I think I’ve only stitched three times this month, so I’m definitely in a stitching slump. However, I’m apparently not in a stash acquisition slump. P Here are my latest purchases:


Most of these items were purchased Saturday when I headed over to my LNS for our 5th Saturday open stitch class. Yes, this is in addition to our regularly scheduled monthly Saturday stitch, so we got to stitch twice this month! ) So, for those of you who are quick studies, you may have quickly deduced that this was two of my three times stitching this month. roll

On the left is the latest in the anniversary series called “A Wish for You” from Blackbird Designs. Given it’s 1) designed by BBD, 2) has a house, and 3) has a bunny, how could I not get it? wink

I also picked up the Lila “Needle Tweets” needle case from Just Nan. As an added bonus, the owner of my LNS had them kitted which was really nice. One of the other woman at our all-day Saturday Stitch had hers finished and it was absolutely adorable! I also picked up the matching stitch marker “tail” to complete my little birdie.

At the bottom of the photo are a couple of accessories purchases. The blue rectangle is actually a magnet mounted to a metal bracket. It’s for use as a needle park with the mini stretcher bars used for canvas work. The magnet is actually strong enough that it will hold a pair of scissors as well. The other accessory is a button pack from Just Another Button Company. It’s the set needed for the Miracles Happen chart I picked up during my trip to San Francisco back in December.

The last item didn’t come from my LNS. It’s the next installment in the Little House Needleworks ornament of the month series that I get on automatic from Drema at Needlecraft Corner. The design is called “Red House in Winter” and it so cute! I just love Diane’s houses. yes

I also learned about another canvas class coming up at my LNS beginning in August & September (two Saturday classes with a month between) that I would love to take. I’m just not sure if I can swing it though which I will explain in the next paragraph. The piece is called “Summertime” and is from my dear friend and local designer, Margaret Bendig. The photo simply does not do this piece justice. It is absolutely GORGEOUS in person. It’s worked entirely in silks and is just so delicately beautiful. If you’re in the southern California area and are interested in the class, just contact Diana at the shop for more information. I wish I had a larger photo so you could see it a bit better, but this is all I have:

Now, as to the reason why I don’t think I can swing two Saturdays for the class, I’m going back to school. When I was younger, I dropped out of college at the start of my senior year to get married. I intended to go back and finish my degree after taking a little time off, but I just never did . I’ve been putting off going back for years, but finally decided it’s time to just suck it up and get it done. I’ve already been accepted into the program. All I’m waiting for now is for the school to receive my transcripts and to get the approval from my employee for the tuition reimbursement program. If everything goes well, I’m hoping to start classes on July 1. If I can’t get everything finished in time for that date, then it will get pushed back to August 1 instead. Either way, I’ll likely need those two Saturdays when the “Summertime” class is taking place to study, write papers, etc. Time for stitching may definitely become a real luxury for me now which makes it all the more sad that I’ve been in a slump of late. no

I guess that’s it for now. Until next time …

31 May 2010
Cross Stitch
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What If …

I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of “what if” this week. Part of it stems from all the various “What If Wednesday” blog posts I’ve read this week, but another part of it is from a quick clip I heard during each of the final two episodes of The Biggest Loser this season that just really resonated with me.

During one of the initial interviews the contestants had when they arrived at the ranch, a conversation between Ashley and her mom Sherry was caught on tape. I don’t know if it was a planned conversation to be filmed, but it didn’t really seem like it was to me because neither of them were looking toward the camera. It definitely felt like a candid conversation that just happened to be captured on film. They were looking directly at one another seemingly unaware of the camera. Here was the snippet that stood out to me as soon as I heard it:

Ashley: What if I go in there and I can’t do it?
*a brief pause*
Sherry: But, what if you can?

Wow, and “can” she did! Ashley went on to go from 374 pounds down to 191 pounds, losing a total of 183 pounds and coming in second place. She’s still not at her goal, and I wish her every success as she continues on her journey.

So, why did that quick little exchange smack me so squarely between the eyes? It made me realize just how much I live my life with that same “what if” mentality.

What if … I’m the fattest person in the room?
What if … I can’t fit in the restaurant booth/plane seat/theater seat, etc.?
What if … people are laughing at me or making fun of me?
What if … I make a fool of myself trying to do (any random activity) at this weight?

but worst of all …

What if … I never lose the weight?

The first four examples are pretty easy for me to resolve, but not in a good way. I have become a queen of isolation at times. I avoid going out and doing things over those very fears. It’s easier to just stay home by myself than face the possible ridicule, looks, etc. of other people. I have my “safe” groups of friends and places where I can go that I know that won’t happen, but I avoid new people and places like the plague. I didn’t do that six years ago when I was at the lowest weight I’d been since college. It’s only been since regaining the weight that I’ve started isolating again.

The worst part of living with this fear and isolation is that I really let it hold my life back. I found out about a month ago that I’m being considered for a promotion into management at work. While my first reaction was one of joy and pride that my hard work was being recognized, my mind immediately went into panic mode realizing this meant I would have to interview. This means sitting in front of an interview panel of some peers who probably haven’t seen me since I’ve regained weight. It means having to try and come up with an interview appropriate outfit when I despise how my body looks and how my clothes fit. It means trying to outrun the demons in my head that will be plaguing me during the interview by constantly wondering if they are thinking, “how can she manage a team of people when she can’t even manage her own weight?” I’ve actually had brief moments where I’ve considered passing on the opportunity just because of my own fears due to my weight. Thankfully, thus far I’ve managed to successfully squelch them each time they rear their ugly head.

The last example from my what if list is, by far, the scariest. It scares me because if I acknowledge that I might not ever lose the weight, then I have to face the reality of my future. So, what if … I don’t lose the weight:

  • I’ll likely develop Type II diabetes like both of my parents.
  • I’m already fighting borderline high blood pressure which will only get worse if I continue to carry the excess weight as I age.
  • I could potentially end up needing joint replacement (hips and/or knees) from carrying all of the extra weight around for so many years.
  • Given the rampant history of heart disease on my maternal side of the family, there is a more likely chance than not that I could face either heart disease or an actual heart attack. My mom, her brother, and my grandfather all have had/did have heart attacks in their 50′s which is less than 10 years away for me.

The list could go on and on, but given how scary that last entry is, I think I’ll stop there. Thankfully, I have a renewed mindset after hearing that little snippet between Ashley and her mom. Rather than continuing to focus on the “what if I can’t” mentality, I’m going to start focusing on the “but what if I can” instead.

What about you? What are some of your “what if” questions that are holding you back from not just living your life, but from being your best self?

Until next time …

29 May 2010
Thoughts
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World MS Day

For those who may not know, my sister is living with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). Without getting too technical, MS is a neurological disorder which affects the ability for the nerves in the brain to communicate with the spinal cord and optic nerves. It is caused by one’s own immune system attacks the myelin in the brain. Once the myelin is damaged, it can no longer carry the electrical signals from the brain down to the spinal cord and optic nerves.

My sister was diagnosed about 10 years ago after a visit to her eye doctor where she complained that she was having a lot of “floaters” in her vision. He referred her to an MS specialist at Vanderbilt University Medical Center who ran tests and confirmed that she had MS. In addition to the vision issues, my sister also has balance & coordination issues, dizziness, weakness in her limbs, and chronic pain & fatigue as a result of the MS. Given she was recently widowed and is trying to raise two children, you can well imagine how those symptoms could affect one’s life.

In the past, it has also been extremely difficult for her to get medical insurance due to the extremely high cost of treatment medications. I’m hopeful that will get easier now that health care reform has passed which includes the pre-existing condition clause.

In addition to being very expensive, some of the medications are also very hard on the body. (The medication a patient receives varies based upon which variation of MS with which the patient has been diagnosed – relapsing or progressive.) My sister takes interferon injections which were successfully keeping her symptoms at bay in the early years after her diagnosis. Unfortunately, interferon is VERY hard on the liver of patients taking it. She eventually began having elevated liver panels and was forced to make the decision of continuing her current dosage and possibly facing a liver transplant in the future, or reducing her dosage which could mean more symptoms, but potentially saving her liver. She opted for the latter and has subsequently had to deal with being more symptomatic.

Why am I bringing all this up now you may be asking? Well, that’s because today, May 26, is World MS Day. More than two million people across the world, and more than 400,000 in the United States, are living with MS. Join with 100 MS organizations around the globe for the 2nd Annual World MS Day to raise awareness about multiple sclerosis. If you can, please wear orange today either in an article of clothing, an orange ribbon, an awareness bracelet, etc. to show your support for MS awareness.

If you also want to help in a more tangible way, my friend Nick will be riding 150 miles in the West Michigan Bike MS Ride in a couple of weeks. By donating some money toward his fundraising efforts, you will not only be showing your support for World MS Day, but will also be helping raise money to find a cure. Nick has been doing this event for several years, and I’m so very appreciative of that fact since this disease has touched my life personally. Here’s a photo of Nick and his two training/ride partners taken during the 2007 Bike MS Tour:

I’ll close with my Tuesday food journal.

Breakfast:

Iced coffee made with 1 cup nonfat milk – 2
Banana – 2

Lunch:

Chipotle Adobo Chicken – 6
Green salad – 0
2 tsp. olive oil w/balsamic vinegar dressing – 2
Skinny Cow ice cream cup – 3

Snack:

Grape tomatoes – 0

Dinner:

Garlic Herb Chicken Sausage – 6.5
Green beans – 0
TJ’s Quinoa Duo w/Vegetable Melange – 4
VitaTop – 1

Snack:

Nonfat milk – 3.5
Z-bar – 2

Total Points: 32
Exercise: None, still battling back issues
WPA Balance: 35
AP Balance: 0
Liquids: 80 oz

Until next time …

26 May 2010
Misc.
0 comments
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World MS Day

For those who may not know, my sister is living with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). Without getting too technical, MS is a neurological disorder which affects the ability for the nerves in the brain to communicate with the spinal cord and optic nerves. It is caused by one’s own immune system attacks the myelin in the brain. Once the myelin is damaged, it can no longer carry the electrical signals from the brain down to the spinal cord and optic nerves.

My sister was diagnosed about 10 years ago after a visit to her eye doctor where she complained that she was having a lot of “floaters” in her vision. He referred her to an MS specialist at Vanderbilt University Medical Center who ran tests and confirmed that she had MS. In addition to the vision issues, my sister also has balance & coordination issues, dizziness, weakness in her limbs, and chronic pain & fatigue as a result of the MS. Given she was recently widowed and is trying to raise two children, you can well imagine how those symptoms could affect one’s life.

In the past, it has also been extremely difficult for her to get medical insurance due to the extremely high cost of treatment medications. I’m hopeful that will get easier now that health care reform has passed which includes the pre-existing condition clause.

In addition to being very expensive, some of the medications are also very hard on the body. (The medication a patient receives varies based upon which variation of MS with which the patient has been diagnosed – relapsing or progressive.) My sister takes interferon injections which were successfully keeping her symptoms at bay in the early years after her diagnosis. Unfortunately, interferon is VERY hard on the liver of patients taking it. She eventually began having elevated liver panels and was forced to make the decision of continuing her current dosage and possibly facing a liver transplant in the future, or reducing her dosage which could mean more symptoms, but potentially saving her liver. She opted for the latter and has subsequently had to deal with being more symptomatic.

Why am I bringing all this up now you may be asking? Well, that’s because today, May 26, is World MS Day. More than two million people across the world, and more than 400,000 in the United States, are living with MS. Join with 100 MS organizations around the globe for the 2nd Annual World MS Day to raise awareness about multiple sclerosis. If you can, please wear orange today either in an article of clothing, an orange ribbon, an awareness bracelet, etc. to show your support for MS awareness.

If you also want to help in a more tangible way, my friend Nick will be riding 150 miles in the West Michigan Bike MS Ride in a couple of weeks. By donating some money toward his fundraising efforts, you will not only be showing your support for World MS Day, but will also be helping raise money to find a cure. Nick has been doing this event for several years, and I’m so very appreciative of that fact since this disease has touched my life personally. Here’s a photo of Nick and his two training/ride partners taken during the 2007 Bike MS Tour:

Thanks, Nick! Until next time …

26 May 2010
Misc.
2 comments
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Another New Food Try

First of all, I’ll start by apologizing for the poor quality of the photo. It was taken with the webcam on my work computer. I also meant to take a photo of the actual product after cooking it, but it was so late by the time I got to eat lunch that I completely forgot. lol

Anyway, I tried Trader Joe’s Reduced Guilt Baked Ziti for lunch today. This is another item from the freezer section. Like the Quinoa Duo I posted about previously, this one also has an ingredient list make up entirely of words I can pronounce. lol Check this out: ziti, water, tomatoes, mozzarella cheese, Parmesan cheese, olive oil, basil, salt, garlic, pepper, and rice starch.

It was a nice size portion of pasta as well. Per the label, it’s 8.5 oz. The biggest complaint I had about it was the sodium content, but it’s still not as bad as some other frozen meals out there. Given that I kept pretty much the rest of my day to whole foods, I’m still OK on the sodium front overall.

Here are the full nutritional stats for the ziti:

Calories: 320
Fat: 7g (saturated fat: 2g – trans fat: 0g)
Cholesterol: 10mg
Sodium: 590mg
Carbohydrates: 55g
Fiber: 3g
Sugars: 6g
Protein 12g

Could I make a lowfat ziti myself rather than buying frozen? Sure, I could. There are times however that you just need to grab something quick, so it’s nice to see that Trader Joe’s has so many great choices. )

Here’s my food diary for today:

Breakfast:

Iced coffee made with 1 cup nonfat milk – 2
Oatmeal – 2

Lunch:

Baked ziti entree – 6
1 cup salad greens – 0
1 cup chopped veggies – 0
1 tbsp. shredded cheese – 1
2 tsp. olive oil – 2
1 tbsp. balsamic vinegar – 0

Snack:

Banana – 2

Dinner:

Grilled chicken – 4
Steamed broccoli – 0
TJ’s Quinoa Duo w/Vegetable Melange – 4
Mango chunks – 2

Snack:

Nonfat milk – 3.5
Z-bar – 2

Total Points: 30.5
Exercise: None, still battling back issues
WPA Balance: 35
AP Balance: 0
Liquids: 80 oz

Until next time …

24 May 2010
Cooking
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A New Look & A New Food

I decided since I’ve really been working on getting a new attitude about my weight loss journey lately that it was time for a new look around here, too. I love the new theme I found! Let me know what you think. )

As long as I’m posting, I also wanted to share about a new food I found. It’s called Quinoa Duo with Vegetable Melange and I tried it last night for the first time. It’s realllly tasty! yes

It can be found in the freezer section at my beloved Trader Joe’s. I don’t remember how much it cost, but it wasn’t that much, if memory serves. It contains both white quinoa and red quinoa, hence the “duo” name, as well as zucchini and sweet potato for the vegetable melange. There are a few other ingredients on the list, but it’s mostly spices and such, so I won’t list them all out. The thing I liked best is that everything is a recognizable name and not some chemical. ) Well, actually, there was one ingredient that I didn’t recognize. Have you ever heard of Galangal? Well, I hadn’t. It turns out it’s a root that’s related to ginger.

As for preparation, it can be heated in either the microwave or a saucepan. The cooking time is about 6-7 minutes regardless of which preparation method you choose.

Here are the nutritional stats:

Serving Size: 1 cup (140g)
Servings per container: about 3
Calories: 220
Total Fat: 6g (saturated fat: 1g – trans fat: 0g)
Cholesterol: 0g
Sodium: 260mg
Total Carbohydrates: 36g
Dietary Fiber: 4g
Sugars: 3g
Protein: 6g

I really enjoyed this one. It’s definitely something I will be purchasing again. It’s nice to have a grain option that’s quick and easy to prepare that’s also a healthy choice.

Until next time …

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24 May 2010
Cooking, Misc.
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