After the New Year arrived, I really started taking a long hard look at myself and doing an inventory of my life. I started to measure how I’ve been doing in accomplishing the things I want to do. Sadly, I realized I’ve not been doing very well because I’ve simply been spreading myself far too thin. I realized it was time I needed to change some things, and that’s just what I’ve been doing. I decided it was time for me to be a little more “selfish” with my time in order to actually make some time for ME.
I know, it seems like such a simple concept, right? Sadly, it’s one that I’ve struggled with my entire life. I’ve always been a bit of a people pleaser who put the needs of everyone else in front of my own. I would take on more and more responsibility and obligations just because I didn’t want to risk hurting someone’s feelings by saying no. Of course, I think a lot of it also stems from my struggles as a perfectionist and just not wanting to admit to myself that I simply couldn’t do it all. It seems that lesson has finally sunk in which means it’s time to do something about it.
As many of you probably know, for the past couple of years I’ve been a Contributing Writer over at The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans. They have always been such an amazing support system for me. Some of us even did a half marathon through the Team in Training program and raised over $40,000 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society in the process! We’ve trained together. We’ve partied together. We’ve laughed together. We’ve even cried together at times. To say I love those women would be a massive understatement!
This is where the whole bittersweet part comes into play. After giving it much thought, I’ve made the decision that it’s time for me to step down as a writer there. This wasn’t an easy decision to make and I struggled over it with a very heavy heart for a few weeks. I have loved every minute I’ve been a part of the Shrinking Jeans editorial team, and that will never change. Oh, and for those worrying, I’m not leaving Shrinking Jeans completely! I’ll still be there participating in challenges, commenting on posts, etc., I just won’t be a writer. You didn’t seriously think you could get rid of me that easily now, did you? Who knows, you still might even see me pop in every now and again over there for a guest post. Just sayin’ …
Ultimately, what this decision all comes down to is the need to just refocus on myself for a while. Not only did I step down at Shrinking Jeans, but I’ve also pared back on some of the other things. I deleted some of the social media apps off my phone. In fact, I actually deleted a couple of accounts entirely. (I’m lookin’ at you, Foursquare!) It’s all part of just getting myself grounded again and not feeling the need to be SO connected at every moment of every day.
What this all comes down to is about making time to really focus on my weight loss and fitness goals again. It’s about focusing on the big push with school in preparation of graduating later this year. It’s about making time to start posting here on my on blog on a more regular basis again. It’s about making time for a couple of my hobbies that help reduce my stress levels which keeps me from going insane. It’s about just having time to sit and be present in the moment of the day without feeling the need that I should be checking in on something online all the time. It’s about having time to just be quiet and simply … be.
In closing, I just really want to thank all of the amazing women over at The Sisterhood, both past and present, for all of the love and encouragement they’ve shown me during my time as a writer. I know that’s not going to change just because I’m stepping down, but I just wanted to publicly acknowledge my appreciation and deep respect for each and every one of them. So, to Christy, Melissa A., Lisa, Heather, Christie, Thea, April, Nancy, Karena, Mary, and the newest writer, Melissa S., please know that you will always have a special place in my heart. I love you, skanks!
Until next time …