A few of months ago, I made the decision to shutter this blog. Several weeks ago, it finally disappeared completely when my old hosting plan expired. Yesterday, I made the decision to bring it back. This post explains why.
As many of you probably know, the annual FitBloggin‘ conference took place over the weekend. If you’ve never heard of it, it’s an absolutely amazing conference geared toward health/fitness/weight loss bloggers. I’ve attended the conference in years past, but didn’t make it this year.
Even though I wasn’t in Denver, I was very tuned in to the activities taking place this weekend. Lots of my friends were there and were posting photos, insights, etc. all across social media. One of my favorite additions this year was the fact that many of my friends were broadcasting live video via Periscope, so I was able to actually watch bits and pieces of what was happening. Between Periscope, Facebook, and Instagram, there were two very defining moments that made me decide to reboot my blog. I’ll share those in a few minutes, but have to share a little something else first.
Initially, I was actually planning to be at FitBloggin’ this year. I had even submitted a proposal to be a speaker. I felt like I had a really great discussion topic, a solid proposal, and was very hopeful I would be selected. However, before the final speaker selections were made, I found out I wouldn’t be able to attend due to a scheduling conflict. I contacted Roni and let her know that I would need to remove my proposal from consideration because I wouldn’t be able to make it this year.
Fast forward a couple of months to early 2015 when I learned the conflict was no longer going to be an issue. I was free and clear to attend FitBloggin’, even though being a speaker wasn’t an option by then as all the speakers had been selected. Instead of booking a ticket and attending, I gave in to my own insecurities and made the conscious decision not to go and to instead miss out on spending the weekend with some absolutely incredible friends. My tribe. My FitBloggin’ family. Why? Because I was afraid.
I’ve been at this whole weight loss game for a long time now. I’ve had periods of great success (I lost 138 pounds about a dozen years ago), and I’ve had periods of great failure (I’ve gained nearly all of it back over the past 10 years). Right now, I’m only about 15 pounds below my all-time heaviest weight and feared that other attendees who might not know me, and even some who do, would judge me. I feared hearing whispers of things like, “Isn’t Melissa heavier than when we saw her at FitBloggin’13?” or (from strangers and/or hotel guests) “Wow, what’s *she* doing at a conference called FitBloggin’?” Yes, I succumbed to the old fear of being too fat for FitBloggin’, so I made a conscious decision to not attend.
Fast forward to this weekend. As I watched all the activities on social media, two incredible things caught my eye. The first was something I saw Kari from A Winning Loser post on Instagram. In her commentary, she wrote:
When getting dressed for the evening and you won’t leave the room because you think you look fat and awful, leave anyway. Turn the negative talk around and believe in yourself. You are worth so much more than that.
I literally sat in my chair and cried for the next fifteen minutes after seeing her post. I knew it was my own negative talk that kept me from being there this weekend. It was my own insecurities that was keeping me from laughing and having a wonderful time with people whom I love dearly. It was my own lack of belief in myself that had me sitting at home and watching from the outside like a stranger.
The second thing was something from my dear friend, Brooke. During her presentation, she shared her story that went viral a few months ago about being rejected by Shape magazine. As she spoke, she talked about the importance of sharing our stories because we never know what might become of it or how many people we might inspire. If she hadn’t shared on her blog about her success story being rejected, her story never would have gone viral and the subsequent conversation and article featuring six amazing women on the realities of losing a lot of weight might never have happened. Shape has even added a “Journey After the Journey” section on their website now which is a direct outcome of Brooke sharing her story.
I won’t even begin to pretend that I have anywhere near the level of story that Brooke has. However, that doesn’t mean I can’t share *my* story and still inspire others, too. Even if I haven’t been doing so well in the weight loss department for a while, it’s all part of the process. It’s about learning to love myself where I am right now that will allow me to start moving forward. It’s about not giving in to the negative talk that kept me home this weekend. It’s about just trying to be the best “me” I can be, taking things one day at a time, and doing what I can when I can.
For the past month, I’ve secretively (for the most part) been keeping a new blog, but it just never quite felt right. It didn’t feel like “home.” I’ve been TheDailyMel on the blogosphere and social media for many years now. It’s my little niche. It’s where I belong. With that in mind, I’ve made the decision to close down the secret blog and transfer those posts here over the course of the next few days. I’ve decided against doing a full restore of all the content from my old TheDailyMel blog because I really just want this to be a fresh start. There are a few recipes and very popular posts that I might bring back, but that’s about it. Today is a new day and this is TheDailyMel 2.0.
Until next time …